by Iza del Carmen, MomAuthority.com

Anger is a perfectly normal reaction for people of all ages, however, when that anger takes a turn toward violence, help is absolutely necessary. If your teen occasionally lashes out, yelling at someone or even throwing things across a room, this is considered poor behavior, but generally not a cause for serious concern. If their outbursts are frequent, become seriously destructive, or involve bodily harm to themselves or others, some sort of anger management treatment should be sought. Signs that your teen has a serious anger management problem can include:

•    Those with anger management problems tend to overreact to small issues, starting arguments over things that seem to be nothing.

•    Often anger problems begin to show themselves outside the home, with fights at school or in other places. Often these teens will be arrested or otherwise punished for these fights, yet continue to be involved in violent incidences.

•    As the problems worsen, the violent tendencies may start to appear with friends and family. This is the point where many parents begin to take their teens’ anger problems seriously. Once they have had a physical altercation at home, actions must be quick to restore order and safety.

•    Some teens with anger problems avoid confrontation with others, but take their frustrations out on inanimate objects instead. They destroy and vandalize property to release their pent up anger. They have little regard to the belongings of others and even those of their own.

•    While we all have kicked the cat, on occasion, teens who cannot control their anger will often cause serious harm to animals, rather than people, early on in their problems. If you find that your teen has done harm to animals, get them help as this often escalates to physically harming people and rarely ends with animals.

•    If you discover that a teen is hiding weapons, this could be a serious warning sign of an anger management problem. Also, if your teen has trouble controlling his or her temper and shows a great interest in guns, knives, or bombs, you may want to seek help for them immediately.

•    Many teens who develop anger problems have been victims of violence themselves. If your child has been bullied in the past or was abused by a family member, keep a close and watchful eye on his or her own reactions to anger and frustration.

Signs Of Severe Anger Problems (c) 2008 MomAuthority.com

by Iza del Carmen, MomAuthority.com

It may seem contrary to your paternal instincts, but sometimes, you need to give your teen some privacy and space to let them work out their problems. Never force your teenager to tell you their problems, if they prefer to keep them to themselves. In they don’t want to talk to you, do not be offended, instead just suggest some other people that they trust, such as friends or other relatives that may be able to offer them advice. Sometimes it is easier to open up to someone who is closer in age than to a parent.

Never discuss their anger or depression problems with other relatives in a gossip-type situation. Put yourself in their position and imagine how you would feel if someone was broadcasting your own emotional difficulties to anyone who would listen. Get advice from others if you need to, but be sure that they are someone that you and your teenager both would trust with their personal information.

Allow your teen the chance to work through their problems on their own, in their own time, provided they are not posing a danger to themselves or others. If it seems that they just want some space to figure things out, then allow them the room to breathe. If they want to cry things out, let them cry. If they want to scream and yell, let them vent that way, as long as it isn’t directed at other people. As long as their reactions to their emotions are not physically or emotionally harmful to themselves or others, let them try to figure things out on their own.

Not only is this often very effective, but it will also teach them to work their problems out for themselves. Problem solving skills will be necessary as they strike out on their own in a few years. Gaining the confidence of knowing that they can handle their own emotions, without needing someone else to fix it for them will do wonders for them as an adult.

Often, when teens are going through a difficult time emotionally, they will become withdrawn and something of a loner. While sometimes a bit of privacy and alone time is what they need to work through their problems themselves, do not let it go on too long. Socialization can help them to forget about the problems that were causing their mood, or at least help to put them into perspective.

Encourage them to spend time with their friends or to join extra-curricular activities at school. Activities that allow them to express their creativity often give them an outlet for their problems and many teens with both depression and anger issues can work through them by expressing themselves through some form of art. Plan family outings or just some fun activities around the home. Do whatever you can to get them out of their room and back into an active life, once they have had some time to deal with their feelings on their own.

Giving Your Teen Some Privacy And Space Can Be A Good Thing (c) 2008 MomAuthority.com