Archive for August, 2008

by Iza del Carmen, MomAuthority.com

Dealing with a teen that is struggling with anger and depression is quite different than confronting an adult with the same problems. Although we may look at them and see an adult-sized person, the transition from child to grown-up is far from complete. Remember this when attempting to help your teen beat their emotional issues and also keep in mind that they are individuals. Not every approach will work with every teen; you know your child best, so trust your instincts and, above all, be patient, even when they are less than pleasant with you.

Stop And Listen

Many teens complain that their parents do a lot of talking and very little listening. Make sure that you give your child a chance to say his or her piece before spouting off about how they should handle a situation.

Many teens with anger and depression problems feel that way because they think no one listens or cares about their problems. So, make sure to take the time to let your child vent their frustrations and disappointments to you. For some teens, knowing that you care about their problems and are interested in what is going on in their lives is enough to turn their mood around.

Talk It Out

Talk with your teen on a regular basis about everything that is going on in their lives. Communication is important in every type of relationship and the parent-child relationship is not excluded from this rule of thumb. Whether their problems are with anger or depression, getting to the bottom of things together and providing them with feedback will certainly be more effective than ignoring a problem and hoping they outgrow it as an adult.

Let them know that they are loved and cared for, but express your concern or disappointment in their current actions. Give them the chance to explain their own position and reasoning for their moods and behaviors, as well. By opening up the lines of communication, you may be able to get inside their mind and see just what has effected their disposition in such a drastic way, to better help them resolve their problems.

Advise, Don’t Dictate

When your teen opens up to you about the things that are going on in their life that have caused their moods to change, try not to tell them what they have to do to fix it. You can certainly offer them advice as to different ways to handle the problem, but let them make the choice for themselves. This is especially important when dealing with teens that have problems with anger. Giving them a few rational options to consider is much more effective than telling them to not be angry over something that has them upset.

Nothing can make a teenager rebel more than being told that they absolutely must do something a certain way. Instead, give them the tools that they need to make the right choices and deal with their problems. Knowing that they have your confidence that they can make the choices on their own will help them to put their anger or depression behind them.

Tactics For Dealing With Emotional Teens, Part 1 (c) 2008 MomAuthority.com

by Iza del Carmen, MomAuthority.com

While dealing with anger and depression in teens can be difficult for the whole family remember that in most cases, just like any trying stage of development, this will pass. Do your best to keep your patience, listen to your teen, and keep the lines of communication open. Usually, if you are supportive and caring, they will come around within a relatively short period of time.

If you are trying to help your teen deal with their emotions on a mature and acceptable level, never forget that they are still children in grown up bodies. Adult rationalizations usually will not work at this age, so try to remember what it was like to be a teenager, yourself. By putting yourself on their mental level, you will be much more helpful than if you were to give them the same advice you would give someone your own age.

Respect your child’s individuality and keep in mind that a tactic or technique that works for one teenager may not work for their brother, sister, or friend. Every teen thinks and reacts differently, so some trial and error will have to occur within your parenting plans. If you feel as if you just cannot help your child, do not be afraid to look for help outside the family. Sometimes someone who is on the outside of things can provide a more objective opinion and sound advice.

As we all know, very few teens make it all the way through to adulthood without at least a few battles with depression or anger. However, some teens’ problems can take a turn for the worse, if not dealt with promptly and by a professional. If your teenager seems to be stuck in a poor emotional state, getting worse over time instead of better, or expresses suicidal thoughts, get them outside help immediately.

Knowing the difference between a normal teenage mood swing and something more serious can be tricky. It is important to know the warning signs of severe emotional distress and to act quickly if you see any of these signs in your child. Choosing to ignore the warning signs could lead to dire consequences for your teen’s health, life, and future.

These most severe cases will require psychiatric evaluation and a possible residential stay, in some situations. Do not let the stigma of placing your child under psychiatric care prevent you from taking this step. Though it may be difficult to do, know that it is in the best interest of your child and you are only doing what is absolutely necessary. Their emotional problems are not a reflection on your parenting skills, but likely from a combination of factors that are beyond either of your control. Do what you know is best for your child and what will give them the best chance at a happy and emotionally healthy future.

Always keep your eyes open for the warning signs of more serious mental health problems and act on them as quickly as possible. Not only can this save the life of your child, but may be necessary for the safety and security of the rest of your family, as well. Ignoring the warning signs will not make them go away, it will only decrease the chances of your teenager getting the help he or she needs.

You CAN Survive Parenting A Teenager (c) 2008 MomAuthority.com