Archive for April, 2009

by Iza del Carmen, MomAuthority.com

In the real world, it’s certainly not with a magic wand. But real married life doesn’t necessarily have to be dull and gray either.

A bright and lasting marriage is very possible even after the honeymoon period. What is needed is the willingness to work at it and an even bigger will to keep on working when things get difficult – because as with any marriage, it definitely will.

A healthy marriage is a lot like a healthy body. As your body requires proper feeding, consistent exercise and sufficient rest; so does your marriage need constant reassurance, adequate time together, and steady communication.

Communication to a marriage is a lot like exercise for the body. It is what you do to make sure your relationship is in good shape.

A misconception people have over communication is that it requires words and a schedule to sit down and talk. While it is true that couples need to find time to talk on a regular basis, consistent communication goes beyond simply this.

Communication also involves non-verbal cues such as body language and with how common everyday things are done.

For example, when you see your partner crossing his arms while you’re explaining something, he may not be receptive to what you are saying. Seeing his/her body tense up when you bring up a certain topic may mean that the particular subject is causing him/her stress.

Another example of non-verbal communication is noticing how they do certain everyday things differently. An example would be when the wife is dressed up a bit nicer than usual. She may want to look special for some reason but prefers not to say it outright. When the husband spends more and more time working in the garage than he used to, he may be saying that something is bothering him, which makes him want to spend less time in the house.

Of course the meanings of these actions vary, but it is wise to be aware of them. Use these non-verbal cues as signs that your partner may want to say something, but is reluctant to talk about them for now. And then, when the time is right, be ready to take these non-verbal communications to the next level and talk about it.

As it is with your body where instant results don’t come with a few exercise sessions; the same principle applies to a marriage. Communicating now will not necessarily make everything rosy from here on end, but it will certainly pave the way to a healthy relationship much more smoothly.

by Iza del Carmen, MomAuthority.com

The wedding celebration is summed up with the exchange of the “I do’s.” This is just the beginning. There are more exchanges of words expected.  However, to have a lasting relationship, respect is the key.

R-E-S-P-E-C-T, respect is such a big word. It is a big factor in any relationship. It is the foundation of love and trust. Any married couple encountering difficulties in their relationships can simply go back to this fundamental.

To maintain harmony, each of the spouses must manifest respect to the other. Simply be courteous, both in words and in actions.

Most people associate courtesy with etiquette. That is why most people think it is very burdensome. Some people even claim that they want to be laidback in a serious relationship, that there is no need for pretenses or formalities.

However, courtesy is not all about table manners or social formalities. It is simply an active choice of doing the proper things at the proper time, like displaying gratitude when there is something to be thankful for or expressing sweet words of love.

Say the Magic Word

Do not let politeness be forgotten in the relationship. To be courteous to each other is not difficult. One only has to remember the magic words taught back in the kindergarten days. Here are some phrases that would definitely count.

1. “Please.”
Requesting for something to be done will sound better if coupled with this simple word.

2. “Thank You.”
These two words express gratitude for someone who went out of the way to do something special.

3. “You’re welcome.”

Even in married life, each of the spouses still deserves such sweet and comforting phrases. Their lasting effects are not to be underestimated. These words never go out of style.

Be Courteous in Your Actions

Courtesy can also be extended on many other occasions.

It would be a good thought to return phone calls. Leaving a note behind to simply inform the itinerary or destination for the day will also assure the husband or the wife. Remembering and celebrating anniversaries and birthdays are definitely plus points.

Do not fall out of these habits. Common courtesy is deserved by others. Coupled with the thought of doing such things will definitely make the spouse worthy of respect.

The simplest and most ordinary things done everyday are actually the best things to take note of when trying to improve the marriage. If one aims for more intimacy and openness in the marriage, such simple and intimate ways of communication must be encouraged.