Archive for April, 2009

by Iza del Carmen, MomAuthority.com

Bedtime can be very stressful and chaotic and this usually results in your child not getting the best night’s sleep. Bedtime should be a peaceful time, but in order to for this to happen, you have to have a routine to follow. Bedtime routines should prepare your child’s body and mind to rest. A predictable routine will give your child a much-needed sense of security and stability. They know what to expect next. There will be times when you will have to veer from your regular routine. For example, holidays, visiting family, sleepovers, and vacations can stir up the sleeping schedule a bit, but it shouldn’t be too hard to get back on track when things have returned to normal.

Have “Quiet Time” Before Bed

Spending approximately 30 minutes before bedtime doing some quiet activity like reading prepares your child’s body for sleep. This is important for kids of all ages and even adults! When your mind is in overload mode and your body is wound up with tension, it is nearly impossible to get any rest. After quiet time, shift into the bedtime preparation mode of your routine. For example, baths, brushing teeth, and getting into pajamas would fall into this category. To make sure that you have time for all this, you will have to know how long each activity takes and plan your routine accordingly. This will enable you to still get your children into bed by an age-appropriate time.

Changing Bedtime Routines

As your children grow, you will have to make some changes to their bedtime routine. For example, your child will grow from a crib to a toddler bed to a full-sized bed. Each change will create new complications that will affect your routine. However, if you only change one element of the routine (i.e. the bed) at a time, the transition will be less stressful for the child and ultimately for you too.

Tucking In

As your child gets older, they may no longer want you to “tuck them in.” However, this time is no less important. It is not only a time to let your child know that they are loved, but also to give them a chance to ask questions or simply talk about something that is on their mind. In young children, this may simply be a stalling tactic, and if you know your child well you will be able to sense the difference. In many cases though, this is the time of day when your child’s defenses are down and he feels vulnerable. Use this as a wonderful bonding time with your child.

People and particularly children are creatures of habit. Leaving out activities in their normal everyday routine can throw them off and into a tizzy. The last thing you want is a meltdown at bedtime, but they’re not uncommon because your child is tired. Sticking to a predictable daily routine at bedtime will lessen the frequency and intensity of these meltdowns.  Start early enough so that you will not need to rush. Rushing to get done and get your child to bed on time will only serve to energize him even more. The goal of the bedtime routine should be to help your child relax and prepare for sleep.

by Iza del Carmen, MomAuthority.com

It is important for children of even a very young age to feel important to the family. Chores help them do this. Even a very small task will give a child a sense of accomplishment and he will feel like he is really contributing something to his household. We’re not talking about working your children like slaves, but there is something to be said for teaching your children the value of hard work at a young age. More and more adults in our society cannot hold down jobs because they were never taught to have a decent work ethic when they were growing up. By teaching your child to work hard, even at small tasks, you are preparing him for the future.

When starting a small child out doing chores, it is best to start with something very simple. If he gets the hang of that, then you can move on to bigger things as well as adding chores to his “job list.” Some general ideas that most 2-4 year-olds can do are dusting, putting away their toys, helping to set the table, putting their laundry in the hamper, and helping to feed the pet. Naturally, they will need supervision for a while until you are confident they have got it down. You will also need to know your child well enough to know when she is ready for responsibility. Take into consideration your child’s particular skills or talents. For example, if you child likes to talk and entertain others, perhaps a good job for him would be keeping the baby happy by playing with her. If your little girl enjoys playing house, then she might also enjoy the chore of setting the table for dinner each night. If your kids enjoy the outdoors, walking the dog or weeding the flowerbed might be a fun job.

Teaching your child to do chores also helps create a sense of respect for other people’s belongings. They learn that if they don’t put their toys away properly, things can get broken. Doing a haphazard job usually results in damage done. Chore time can become a learning time where your child is introduced to the law of cause and effect.

To keep your child from becoming too bored doing the same thing all the time, try rotating the chores amongst your children. Once they get the hang of a particular task, introduce another, until they have learned how to do a variety of household jobs. You can offer incentives, but be careful about “paying” your child to do something that needs to be done. They need to learn that all members of a household need to contribute without always expecting a reward.

At first, you will probably feel impatient because you know that you could accomplish the task much faster and more efficiently. They may even make a worse mess than when they started! Accidents will happen. But as a parent, you need to try to be patient and think about the big picture. Do you want to end up as one of those parents who waits on her teenagers hand and foot because they never learned the value of hard work? Putting forth the extra effort now will make your job so much easier down the road.