Privacy: How Much Is Okay and How Much Is Too Much?

by Iza del Carmen, MomAuthority.com

When deciding on family rules and practices for internet use, many parents are ambivalent about the boundary between good parenting and invasion of privacy. We want our children to maintain a healthy self-concept and a view of themselves as a trusted individual.

Some safety precautions seem, on the surface, to be an invasion of their child’s privacy. By extension, overseeing email, blogs, and web histories sometimes feels like a confession that parents do not trust their children. These are valid concerns, and merit consideration by parents and conversation between parents and children.

The priority in parenting, if you’ll recall, is to love them, to provide for their needs, to protect them, and to guide them. Your goal in establishing internet use rules for your family is an extension of this purpose.

It makes no more sense to give a teenager the car keys before he’s demonstrated the ability to drive safely than it does to allow unsupervised use of the internet. Viewed from this perspective, it becomes easier to decide upon and implement whatever protocols seem most appropriate.

Once you’ve made your decisions about the parameters of your child’s internet use, it is important to explain them clearly. Make sure your child understands what is permitted and what isn’t. Keep the lines of communication open so your child feels comfortable coming to you with questions or concerns.

Be clear about what measures you will be taking to ensure your child’s safety, such as reading email, tracking instant messaging conversations and blog posts, or using parental control filters.

Some parents feel better about these necessary precautions once they have explained exactly why the measures are necessary. Children need to know your efforts are intended to keep them safe, not to catch them doing something wrong.

Make sure they understand that, while you do trust the child’s intentions, it is your job to run interference between them and outsiders, whose intentions may not be as noble.

There is no breach of trust or privacy when you have stated in advance that you will be tracking the child’s activity. In fact, though they probably won’t admit it, your children will feel more secure as they venture into cyberspace, knowing you are beside them to keep them safe.

Privacy – How Much Is Okay and How Much Is Too Much? (c) 2008 MomAuthority.com